@karencreets: Blah blah blah employee handbook, just get to the point where you say if you're gonna drug test me or not
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@SSgtTommyD: My daughter has an ice skating date with her boyfriend tonight. So I'll be the guy skating behind two 12 year olds carrying a shotgun.
@iscoff: *draws a tarot card* Ah, the guy with too many swords. This card means you need to have less swords
@trevso_electric: I don't have bumper stickers because I don't believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "Do you want to watch Batman Forever?" Me: "I'll watch it for a couple of hours." Wife: "I hate you."