@NotthatAdamWest: "Bless your heart" is southern for "I'm pretty sure you were dropped on your head as a child."
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@iamburtjarvis: lawyer: I haven't won a case since last year's hearing loss. me: what was the hearing for? lawyer: WHAT? me: the hearing. lawyer: WHAT?
@KKAlThani: Whenever I go for a jog and it's raining, I like to pretend that someone killed my family and I have to get strong and avenge their death.