@stealingyergirl: [first day as a psychic]
Boss: You're fired.
Me: Man, I did not see that coming.
Boss: And now you know why.
@Kayditty: Just left WalMart. All the cute well behaved kids must be at Target.
@SirFlushaLot: I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes
@darrinfb: I want my ashes scattered when I die.
I don't like people visiting me now.... I'll be damned if I want visitors when I'm dead.
@DaddyJew: Oh no, my kid got upset at me and locked himself in his room. What ever will I do. Margarita anyone?
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