Blind Date: SWEET JESUS I DONT HAVE ANY EYES Me: Of course you don't, you're a date Blind Date: WHAT Me: Kind of like a big raisin

@AristotlesNZ: If the fate of the world ever depended on me opening a new plastic grocery or produce bag in under a minute, we'd all be dead.

72

@PellMull: It was the Bleh of Times, It was the Meh of Times...

1

@melibuff: I've been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people.

139

@mattZillaaaa: It’s easy to lie to people. My phone was dead. I mailed it 2 weeks ago. Your baby is so cute.

1

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