@tastefactory: BLIND DATE TIP FOR WOMEN: Throw a fork into the wall behind ur date so he has to turn around, to make sure he doesn't have a hidden ponytail
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@thenatewolf: *Chooses paper towels instead of the hand dryer right as a tree walks into the bathroom*
@VodkaThursday: Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words.
@NoahJWatkins: "Do you smell the updoc?", I say to my pet bunny. My bunny replies with silence. I know that someday he will say it and I am willing to wait
@kwirkyKerri: You said you wanted a video of me eating a banana. Nothing about me not slicing it. YOU'RE WELCOME.