@MsMosman: Blocked a someone with "Social Media Specialist | Online Reputation Manager" in their bio just to mess with their head. And it's douchy.
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@Spaced_Cowboy00: A beautiful woman said hi to me at the store and I panicked and said Merry Christmas.
@zachv86: *speaks at high school graduation* Your 12 year free trial has expired. To continue your education please submit your credit card info.
@hippieswordfish: ME: I JUST WENT TO THAT NEW SALON WHERE THEY CUT YOUR HAIR OFF BY SHOOTING IT WITH A GUN FRIEND: oh cool how was it ME: WHAT