@MsMosman: Blocked a someone with "Social Media Specialist | Online Reputation Manager" in their bio just to mess with their head. And it's douchy.
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@imence2: I always take my kids on vacation during drug awareness week...because there's just some things they should learn from their dad.
@SCbchbum: “Son, would you like to go to college some day, or would you like to keep ordering guac? Your choice.”
@Mr_Kapowski: My daughter is the perfect height for using an umbrella to simultaneously keep her dry and for me to lose an eye from one of its corners
@GrandadJFreeman: Most girls: "I hangout with guys, there's less drama." Me: "I hangout by myself. There's no drama & I don't have to wear pants."