@1Happytwit: Blood is thicker than water and a lot harder to clean off the walls.
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@mllebeckyrose: I'm sorry I slapped you but you didn't seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
@megbada: I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.
@PinkCamoTO: My walk of shame is just me leaving a party trying to hide a Tupperware container of leftover cake under my hoodie.