@nPhelendriqal: Blood is thicker than water, but rhinoceros poop is thicker than blood, so..
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@PaulGibson1963: Daughter steals my iPad so I left Google open on "too many kids" & "making it look accidental." Found my iPad but haven't seen her all day.
@reczit: Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM.
@Jacob_Swift16: Therapy Me: she never tells me anything Her: He doesn't listen Me: that's bs gimme an example Her: I'm 8 months pregnant Me: WHOA