@SuperJuanderer: Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers.
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@hippieswordfish: ME: i need a loan so i can build a robot army to take over the world with BANKER: what M: oops i meant 'with which to take over the world'
@GibJimson: Being the tallest person at work, leads me to believe they hired me because they were short staffed.
@SashaSavoy: And then whiskey said "tweet that, it's hilarious". But whiskey was wrong. So very wrong.
@briangaar: I blow-dried my hair, now it looks like the mane of a majestic lion who is really good at video games