@SuperJuanderer: Blood is thicker than water. Then again, so is oatmeal, and I would much rather be oatmeal brothers.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning...
@WilliamAder: To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
@BrianIncognito: My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.
@ShawnIzadi: Why use words you don't understand in your tweets? It just makes you look photosynthesis.