@TheOnion: Bobcat Escapes National Zoo
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@DearAuntAbby: It’s extremely difficult to search my tweets when I constantcessantly make up nonsensicalistic words and greatastic werges.
@Tmoney68: Trying to convince a kid, no matter the age, that they're tired, is like trying to tell a drunk they're drunk. Denial & anger will follow.
@zacharyflynn: You say jump I say how high. You say run I say how fast. You say lets hang out I say no.