@nerdreign: Body language can be so subtle that only an intuitive person can read your mood. Body slams, I have found, are far more direct.
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@BucMarvin: Me: let's go get a baby dinosaur. Wife: where are we going to get a baby dinosaur? M: at the babysaurus store. W: Baby's R Us you idiot.
@prufrockluvsong: [returning toothpaste] Yeahhh, this didn't hold my husband's teeth together at all.
@ddsmidt: On the box it said "do not put your tongue on battery." I would never put my tongue on a battery. Although. I kinda want to now.
@liv_thatsme: FIRST DATE Me *dressed from head to toe like Darth Vader* Him: Haha, are you dressed like that to celebrate the opening weekend of the new Star Wars movie? Me (in Darth Vader voice): NO.