@Arroia: Body language tells us a lot about people. For example, my neighbor really doesn't like to be held underwater for more than 2 minutes.
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@internetluke: [showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. "You named your daughter Jack?" Nope, mittens
@Easy_Tiger__: Girls are like puppies. If you don't take them out enough, they'll poop on your rug. SERIOUSLY ASHLEY ON MY RUG??
@NickadooLA: Mitt Romney says that people who are voting for Barack Obama don't work and don't pay taxes. I guess that means Romney is voting for Obama.