@215potter: Bong hits bring all the cheetos to my jaw, and it's like, nom nom nom nom.
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@onelongbender: My internet boyfriend doesn't know about my real life boyfriend, which makes two of them.
@kirbys4losers: Maybe I can bury my burned out vibrators in the Pet Sematary and they'll come back to life with a vengeance.
@7_Cents: *eats an entire box of cereal in one sitting* Wtf there's no prize in this? "Sir, we don't sell cereal. This is Petsmart."