@215potter: Bong hits bring all the cheetos to my jaw, and it's like, nom nom nom nom.
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@fro_vo: Cop: we have you surrounded! Get down on the ground now! Cardboard Man: sigh not again *cops start breakdancing*
@MidlifeDish: "This is the last time I'm going to tell you!" *Biggest lie parents tell kids "And I mean it." *Biggest lie parents tell themselves
@QwertyJones3: [texting] So what's your name? "ily" omg this is moving too fast. ILY: (yelling) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN MOM, WHY DID YOU NAME ME THAT?