@WstonesOxfordSt: BOOK FACT: If you took every book in our store and laid them end to end you would be thrown out by security and banned from returning.
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@novicefather: *writes employment history on arm *writes professional references on thigh *writes email address on neck *adds "resume" to resume
@smilely_gal: 7 has started saying "your life just got better," whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid's strong-suit.
@vikkaroni: Him: what does a polar bear weigh? Me: I don't know Him: enough to break the ice, my name's John. Me: so's mine.
@gerryhallcomedy: My french toast just surrendered to my german sausage. Breakfast is weird at my house.