@UrbanDouchebag: Book Of Tim, 3:13. Behold, the lord said unto them, leave not your nachos unattended for quickly they become the spoils of thieving women.
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@CoatCzech: 1) My wife and I are fighting 2) My phone has an annoying ringtone whenever someone RTs me 3) My phone is in the room where she's sleeping
@frankzulla: Watching an episode of Star Trek (original series) and my 8 year old says the uniforms remind her of The Wiggles. I can't unsee it now
@Cpin42: Have you found them? "Not yet, sir.” THEY'RE MUTANT TURTLES THAT DO KARATE. HOW HARD COULD IT BE? "They wear tiny masks, sir.”