@Mr_Mike_Clarke: Boom, boom, ching!
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@LilMoose77: Any time you see a mass suicide case on the news, you can pretty much assume the assembly of an IKEA product was the cause.
@david8hughes: Midwife [handing my baby]: make sure you support his head Me: that's a really great, floppy little head you've got there. Well done
@BoobsRadley: Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body