@KrazykurtKurt: Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you've got alzheimers.
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@BrettDruck: Her: I'm so wet Him: I'm so hard Eavesdropping alien: These people are bad at describing themselves.
@rationalists: Republicans say they're not satisfied with Michele Obama's speech because she didn't give it from her kitchen.
@yungsweater: *Playing catch* *dad throws ball over fence* "I'll get it son!" *25 years later* "Wow he must've thrown it far"
@david8hughes: Wife: how much did it cost to rent that bouncy castle? Me: I dunno. Buying it wasn't cheap tho