@AHundredElbows: Border Patrol never did chase down that illegal baby food smuggler from Mexico. I heard he was so fast they nicknamed him Formula Juan.
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@markedly: To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying
@TheTweetOfGod: Capitalism is controlled by an "invisible hand" that gives most people the invisible finger.
@ceejoyner: Here's a promise - if a scuba shop is within sprinting distance of the ocean and they let me try stuff on I'm not paying for a damn thing.
@TheToddWilliams: [Bethsaida 28 AD] BAKER: Such a huge crowd…I'm gonna sell so many loaves "Five loaves please" BAKER: Huh? "Jesus is here" BAKER: Sonuva