@hurlarious: Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
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@JakeNicholas: There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase.
@causticbob: In Russia, Vladimir Putin has said that the killers of Nemtsov "will be ruthlessly hunted down." He added, "It's cheaper than paying them"
@dave_cactus: ME: I had to fix dad's computer after the power surge. HER: Motherboard? ME: No, she was watching TV.