@hurlarious: Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
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@Schmoodles: If I ever have a heart attack, I'm deleting my internet history before I call an ambulance. Better safe than sorry.
@rickkondell: Apparently, if you stop to help an armored truck broke down on the side road, they'll mace and taser you. In that order.
@craydrienne: Twitter: your jokes suck Instagram: your face sucks Snapchat: your life sucks Facebook: your family misses you and is also racist
@simoncholland: You can just start calling yourself an olympic hopeful. You don't have to fill out a form or anything.