@hurlarious: Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
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@ScottLinnen: Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
@tastefactory: DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again