@ferranticathy: Bored, go into a fitting room wait a couple minutes then yell, "where's the toilet paper"
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@DaddyJew: Judge: order in the court, ORDER IN THE COURT Me on the witness stand:*lips pressed against the mic* 2 hot dogs and a milkshake, your honor
@KevinFarzad: I carry a rolled up yoga mat so people think I'm fit but really it's just a great way to hold 2 footlong meatball subs.
@GrillinChillin9: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer