@ferranticathy: Bored, go into a fitting room wait a couple minutes then yell, "where's the toilet paper"
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: 10: Can we go to the adoption store and pick up a new baby? Me: Sweet girl, Mama has 4 kids. If we go right now it's probably to drop off.
@KeetPotato: me: "we commemorate the day you died every year" jesus: "thats nice, what's the day called?" me: jesus: me: jesus: "keith?" me: "bad friday"
@GodlessUtopia: "I'm not usually religious, but..." - Dan Mintz #LGBT #gayrights #equality #atheist #ReligiousFreedom . .
@JohnLyonTweets: I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it.