@fro_vo: *boss calls me into office*
"um but sir my name is--"
Be quiet you're "into office" now
@sirivan: There’s no problem you can’t solve with a great night of dancing.
Except for a broken foot.
Then you should see a doctor.
@tastefactory: "What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription"
*behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*
@radtoria: Hello. I am Public Restroom. Would you like some toilet paper that melts in the palm of your hand? Here, have some empty soap, my child.
@zoeklar: my friend told me on first dates i should just "be myself" and "be confident" and i was like "ok but which one?"
@Jennifergr8: I'm beginning to think some of you are not your Avi's, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.