@fro_vo: *boss calls me into office*
"um but sir my name is--"
Be quiet you're "into office" now
@joejwest: DAD: Sorry it's not a pony, honey. Best I could do
LITTLE GIRL: [riding gigantic earthworm] This is Princess Doomtube. She shall be feared
@Brentweets: If someone is choking the best thing to do is ask them if they're okay repeatedly then if that fails give a concerned look until resolved.
@uMakeMeBad: At Walmart with a box of condoms and a Barbie play set, now I need to pick the right cashier to ensure maximum awkwardness for us both.
@bobbiejo448: I don't want to tell you how to run your company, Hostess, but liquidating just as weed becomes legal seems like a bad business decision.
@Xoolun: I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either.