@fro_vo: *boss calls me into office*
"um but sir my name is--"
Be quiet you're "into office" now
@mrtruthandsoul: "I think I stepped in some upchuck"
What's up, Chuck?
"Not much, but my name's not Chuck"
@fuzzlime: running feels great unless you compare it to not running
@TaylorVirtue: I opened a door for a girl, but then the crowd flow never stopped so I've been holding this door open for 3 days.
@myonlymizztake: Can you imagine being cryogenically frozen and waking up 100 years later? Your hairstyle would be so outdated, how embarrassing.
@Tmoney68: Today, I saw a sign outside a dental office that said "We do our business in your mouth" and I haven't stopped laughing.