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@DaddyJew: Boss: go to hell
Me: so stay? or leave? I'm confused
@Vice_Queen: I accidentally just sent a kissy face emoji to my female boss... and now we wait for the call from HR on Monday.
@RocketRankoon: [In the middle of shootout]
Hey, can I borrow your chapstick?
@Y_U_Hayden: Just clicked on an ad that said "Free Albums Here" But It linked to a download of a Nickelback album. Would have rather just gotten a virus.
@VerifiedDrunk: Jill on Facebook is trying to find a way to get cat diarrhea out of suede boots and I don't think I'm hungry for lunch anymore. .