Funny Tweeter

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@WildeThingy: Boss "I'm looking for a volunteer."
Me *chops off own legs "I can't!"
Co-worker "I'm busy, sorry."
Me "damn, that's a better excuse."

Boss “I’m looking for a volunteer.” 
Me *chops off own legs “I can’t!” 
Co-worker “I’m busy, sorry.” 
Me “damn, that’s a better excuse.”