@TheWriteStuff2u: Boss made me put a nametag over my left bosom. I leaned over and said, "Now, what shall we name the other one?"
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@shamans_heal: I've seen: •UFOs •Ghosts •A Two Headed Turtle •Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president.
@T_N_Crumpets: Judge: how do you plead? Me: [looks at lawyer] Lawyer: [mouths "not guilty"] Me: hot milky L: *bangs head on desk* FFS just lock him up
@hg47: On Average, ovulating women prefer rugged & masculine men. Menstruating women prefer men duct-taped and on fire.