@dril: BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES
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@KevinFarzad: If you're an astronaut and you don't end every relationship by saying "look, I just need space" then you're wasting everyone's time.
@MatMarcotte12: I don't normally shit with the door open but I don't want to miss the in flight movie
@Bedlam_Beersie: Jesus: ... when you saw only one set of footprints, that's when I was carrying you. Me: What about that spot with lots of footprints? Jesus: I didn't want to alarm you, but I did also fight some ninjas who were stalking us.