@ojedge: BOSS: why are you late?
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@1followernodad: me: how can Americans be so arrogant? also me: *is mad when United States is listed alphabetically instead of at the top of a list*
@KirstyWebeck: Guy: “Lesbians! Awesome! Can I watch?” Me: “Errr. Sure?” *bundles him into the car and makes him drive around for five hours while we buy some timber and succulents and choose a rescue kitten from the shelter*