@mdob11: Boss: Why weren't you at work last week?
Me: Why are you living in the past?
@nowarranty: I'm only two people away from having a love triangle.
@shkeeber: Recreational drugs?
No thanks, I went pro years ago.
@Sickayduh: Bobby Flay's sister is pretty big in the dessert game too. Sue Flay.
@Parker_Simpson: this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight
@SadPeruna: Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends.