@mdob11: Boss: Why weren't you at work last week?
Me: Why are you living in the past?
@reczit: Help is a magic word.
Say it to people & watch them disappearing from the horizon of your life.
@werehedgehog: No, they're not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. :)
*later to thugs* They know too much.
@_davidlucas_: Don't forget to contemplate the meaning of life while standing in the cycle lane with your car door wide open today.
@Reverend_Scott: My favorite oxymorons:
1. Jumbo shrimp.
2. Act natural.
3. Boneless ribs.
4. Civil war.
5. Freezer burn.
6. Adult male.
7. Happy marriage.
@LorieGZ: I ordered a pair of shoes delivered to my house. I'm too excited to wait at home so I'm camping out at the end of my street. Send snacks?