@kelownagoose: Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early.
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@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
@captainkalvis: me: thank you for that glass of milk earlier sperm bank employee: what glass of milk me: the glass of milk that was sitting on your desk sperm bank employee: oh my god me: what sperm bank employee: you drank my glass of milk
@caithuls: [first date] ME: Wanna get out of here and *looks around nervously* go to separate places separately?
@dubstep4dads: I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."