@Meh_Tweetz: bought 30 treadmills & placed them around the perimeter of house, when zombies attack my house they will just keep walking for days
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@TheWoodenslurpy: To people calling themselves "Grammar Nazis": you’re not correcting grammar so much as punctuation or spelling. Hi, I’m a Nomenclature Nazi.
@djdarrellripley: Me: Let's get married secretly, and not tell anybody! Her: Yea, but what if we have a baby? Me: Well, we'll tell the baby...