@WilliamAder: Bought a cat collar with a bell on it, and now I can't sneak up on the cat to put it on her.
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@Gooooats: Nothing is more terrifying than hearing your wife yelling at your kids about something only to have them respond, “but dad said we could!”
@Book_Krazy: *Condom Co* [ok, don't let them know ur a frog] "Any ideas how we can make our condoms more pleasurable for her?" ME: Ribbit "Genius"
@IGotsSmarts: She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.