@dxblarssonENG: Bought a water at the airport and now one of my kids can't go to college.
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@Scdavis24: Sometimes I think I'm a relatively smart person. Other times I put my shoes on before my pants and realize who I really am.
@E_lok44: So I was coloring my few, grey hairs with a sharpie and Hubby walked in. He told me, I'm the reason for warning labels on small appliances.
@novicefather: [william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!
@PFPTMillsy: How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong