@Brianhopecomedy: Bought an ice cream cake and the cashier told me to keep it in the freezer until serving as it will melt. I gotta start dressing smarter.
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@Douchekevin: If you ever saw me race to the liquor store 5 mins before it closes, you'd hire me for a getaway driver in a bank heist any day.
@Fred_Delicious: Megaman is such a hard game! I've beaten Ice Man & Fire man but this guy just shoots me before I can even move. How do I beat Zimmer Man?
@HousewifeOfHell: What's it called when you're anxious enough to be a Helicopter Mom, but really, really lazy? A Blimp Mom? Yeah, I'm that.
@canadasandra: We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.