@haleysfalling: bought candy at the movies and suddenly i can't pay this months rent anymore
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@EdgarAllanLo: [Wendy and the Burger King having sex] King: You like this? Wendy: I'm loving it! *the Burger King stops* King: What did you just say?
@HiddenPinky: How'd you get a black eye? Walked into a door. [Later, another shiner] More doors? *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.
@JohnLyonTweets: Les Miserables was pretty good but I wish I'd had some kind of warning that everyone in it would be so unhappy.
@1Happytwit: 6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub.