@RowdyBowden: Bouncy balls are super fun if you love to play with something very briefly, then spend 45 minutes looking for it in a shrub.
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@HeyoShellz: Dude tried to pick me up at the gym but I was like bro I'm dying just let me lay here
@Sassafrantz: [stops during sex] If you spin my fanny pack around, there's sandwiches in there. Help yourself.
@jazmasta: My walk of shame is every time I leave a girl's house after watching "How I Met Your Mother" with her.
@asimplesean: Actually, until you cut into it it's chocolate *magma* cake. If you could just bring me a menu with the proper nomenclature that'd be great.