@lawblob: Bowser is a job creator and the largest employer in the mushroom kingdom
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@Tmoney68: [Courtroom] Judge: One more word & I'll hold you in contempt! Me: Yes! *jumps on his lap & throws arms around him* This is nice.
@jergarl: I walked out naked one time and she's like wtf. And I'm like this is how god made me! And she's like no that's how beer and tacos made you.
@retardedwriter: Old age is nothing but a computer with 1000 GB of memory running on a celeron processor
@ibid78: My N'Sync tattoo? I got it to remind me not to make impulsive decisions based on fleeting trends that I'd regret for the rest of my life.