@mimicz: Boy are people gonna be upset when they find out the God Particle is black...
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@iwearaonesie: *wife comes out in a robe* I'm hiding your present Yes it's wrapped Nooo, it's not in the fridge [5 minutes later] IT'S NOT IN THE FRIDGE!
@TheMichaelRock: 12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year? Me: What's wrong with the one we live in? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Goodnight, son.
@rocknthepurple: Me: I could tell you, but I'd have to- Him: Kill me? hahaha Me: No, talk to you. And I don't wanna do that.
@erica_rosie: I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it.