@ladybroseph: Boy, are you a yellow sports car because I am embarrassed to be seen with you but I am very pleased with your performance.
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@fightforfood: There's no dumb questio— "Why'd my parents get divorced?" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit
@sofarrsogud: Before we were married, my wife was like a tiger in the bedroom. Now she's more like a possum. She plays dead whenever a snake approaches.
@Playing_Dad: Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.