@ladybroseph: Boy, are you a yellow sports car because I am embarrassed to be seen with you but I am very pleased with your performance.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: I'm just gonna take a quick nap. KIDS: Check out the new cirque du soleil show we invented. *living room is on fire*
@AlexvanBeek: You should feel pretty honoured if I subtweet you. But the tweet you think is about you, probably isn't. Twitter's hard. Get a helmet.
@Jeffwni: [The Justice League on patrol] Superman: Wait! I smell something fishy… Batman:*chuckles* Aquaman: Know what? Screw you guys. I'm going home