@wesjohnson8: Boy at FBI headquarters saw pictures of 10 most wanted men & said, "Why didn't you keep them when you took their picture?"
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@notalogin: [2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human
@AGStr8upNinja: How to be a Canadian: 1) Love hockey 2) Use good manners 3) Drink Tim Hortons 4) Live in a igloo 5) Hunt moose with stick
@myles_morrison: Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard