@cjwerleman: Boy, ISIS are going to be pissed when they find out New Atheists talk about God more than them.
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@stephenjmolloy: Waiter: "I'm afraid your credit card has been declined." Me: "Try this one." W: "This is a blood donor card." M: "Take as much as you need."
@Fred_Delicious: if you're ever worried there's an intruder in your house, shout 69 down the stairs. if no one laughs, there's no one there
@pinupteacher: The confused head tilt your dog does but me when someone asks me if I want fries or salad.