@NYC_Blonde: Boys are cute how they're all "I like girls that don't wear heavy makeup" and "get down from that tree near my window or I'll call the cops"
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@charliedelta7: Don't be offended if I speak to you condescendingly. Be happy that I care enough to be sure your simple mind understands what I'm saying.
@crazytraci72: "Who am I?" she beckoned the stars. Stars: We've gone over this a million times. You are a geisha caveman.
@thepunningman: Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports