@NYC_Blonde: Boys are cute how they're all "I like girls that don't wear heavy makeup" and "get down from that tree near my window or I'll call the cops"
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@DirtMcTurd: Two things you need to know about me: 1. I am hung over. 2. Sometimes I say the word over for no reason.
@pleatedjeans: U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything
@david8hughes: [in ambulance] "Sir, do you know your blood type?" "Yeah [coughs & points to wound] red."