@thewordy: boys love mysterious girls so don't be afraid to show up to dates with a shovel and a smear of fresh blood on your collar
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@protolalia: "Sorry, that was my bad." "Your bad what?" "No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad." "You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?" "Yeah"
@PetePsquared: Bought a bag of Sweetheart candies & cracked my tooth on one.When I spit it out & looked at it,itsaid "Next time call when you say you will"