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@_Tempo11: Exits public bathroom stall
Makes eye contact with the person next in line
Mouths: "I'm so sorry"
@NoChillPosts: BAD LUCK LUKE
@TheBeerGuy73: Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
@Bexdora: My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes.
I tell her it's not London she has to worry about.
I just injured myself on a potato.
@flahertykeely: stuck on a crowded subway next to a girl playing candycrush, she made a bad move & half the car went "ooooo" in a chorus of dismay