@TheAlexP: [Reporting live on scene] Weatherman: how much rain are you seeing? Me: Christ Gary, all of it.

@TheBoydP: Couples have an amount they can spend up to without discussing with each other. Mine is around $50. My wife's is around $643.27. Apparently

@lecalabara: "To hell with it, thats good enough." - every person after theyve ever tried to iron a shirt. Ever.

@LurkAtHomeMom: Hell hath no fury like a 4 year old whose sandwich has been cut into squares when he wanted triangles.

@djdavemichaels: Do bouncers get paid in toothpicks or are they a part of their uniform, or what exactly is the deal here?