@zoebread: brace yourselves, the orthodontist just died
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@psybermonkey: [Getting chased by cops after heist] Me: Damn, I can't shake 'em. It's like they're one step ahead of us. Partner: STOP USING YOUR BLINKER
@seamusmckracken: I get distracted too easily to be a burglar. I’d just end up playing with your dogs, or feeding your fish and then leaving.
@hasht4g: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because kids that eat Taco Bell can't climb, or run.