@robdelaney: Brad Pitt might be "better looking" than me, but I am considerably fatter.
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@Steelers1972: If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
@KalvinMacleod: GOD: for this to work, I need them to feel love CUPID: how about I shoot them through the heart with an arrow? GOD: ur starting to worry me
@EJGomez: [sees a baby spit up after drinking from baby bottle] "lmao yo who invited the lightweight"
@RexHuppke: When the priest says "Body of Christ" I say "Thanks, I've been working out." Then I grab the cracker and run back to my seat.