@Jesssicle: Bragging about how much you receive in alimony only demonstrates how much someone was willing to pay to get rid of you.
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@ChipKellysBalls: It should be a rule that if you're going to put you kid on a leash, you can't be mad if someone walks up, asks if they bite, and pets them
@theshantilly: My whole life is that moment when you send an important e-mail mentioning an attachment without the actual attachment.
@garrettbarry70: Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife.