@TheBoydP: Brain cancer from cell phones is no longer considered a risk because who holds their phone up to their head anymore?
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@TheHyyyype: [philosophy class] PROFESSOR: u must question everything [later] ME: *grabs lamp and shakes it* what have u been doing all day?!
@ghostkrogh: isaac newtown got hit in the head & invented calculus. i broke my nose last night when I was drunk & invented a louder version of crying.
@darksidedeb: I accidentally dropped one of my husband's Viagra into my contact solution and now I'm cockeyed.