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@baconacid: Brain: no
Foot: don't ask me I'm a foot
@amselts: After the machine uprising, robots in the club will dance "The Human" by compulsively overeating and playing with their phones on the toilet
@HeyZeus666: Answer : Mrs.Claus
Question : Who was the only person in history that was unhappy when Santa came early?
@lisaxy424: *notices one of my own hairs on my dog*
WELL IT SEEMS THE TABLES HAVE TURNED
@Schmoodles: I call my bedroom 'The place where the magic happens' because one night a guy locked me in a box and tried to saw me in half.
@SirEviscerate: Me: I'm having a problem with my computer:
IT guy: Have you tried punching it?
Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot.