@SufficientCharm: Bravo, Oscar, Oscar, Bravo, Sierra
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@Reverend_Scott: COPS: WE'RE COMIN IN "have a police dog?" COPS: YES "only the dog can come in" COP: BUT- "my house, my rules" COP: I guess that's true
@KeetPotato: [2 years after going missing at zoo] wife: [points at TV] "omg thats him" me: [on the news inside kangaroos pouch] "why is noone helping me"
@pro_failure: I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,"I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."