@hinnaz: Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable.
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@thatUPSdude: My friend told me his wife talks a lot in her sleep "I know" was probably not the right answer
@WetzelGeek: My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.
@Book_Krazy: ME: [whispering]"Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: "um no. I have on pajamas"