@SideBurny: Bread goes in, toast comes out. EXPLAIN THAT, ATHEISTS!
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@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
@UncleDuke1969: *climbs into windowless van* *puts on "Free Hugs" t-shirt* *heads out to make new friends* *fails* *waits for lawyer in windowless room*
@stephenjmolloy: Mugger: "Hand over your stuff! No funny business!" *I give him my wallet and phone but not my business proposal to open a clown college*